Monday, June 05, 2006

The Light and the Real


Rock Ray's painting of the melancolic\alcohoolic pirate in the caribeen.
As he calls it, ''god's finger'' is piercing the clouds above what seems to be an island of sand on which palm trees are scattered.
The bottle reminds me of drinking.
And drinking in turn, reminds me of my mornings at work.
I have the habit of buying drinks before getting at the office.
Non-alcoholic drinks of course.
The question I'm coming to is'' Why is it that if I grab a drink in a depanneur's fridge, I'll end up with a diet drink?''
The sad thing, is that I'm always in a hurry in the morning, and that when I arrive to my chair, I'm always a little surprised in what I get out of my bag.
However, it's been three or four mornings that I pulled a diet drink out of the bag.
I gave them a try of course, but nothing will do it.
It tastes like fake-ass.
What our society calls 'Light' is in fact a weaker tasteless (or bad tasting) version of the original.
I understand that some people might want to cut off sugar from their diet.
They should know that there is no escape. Aspartame might not have any calories, but it makes your body react all the same. (as if it was sugar.) Aspartame in fact pushes your liver to create as much insulin as real sugar would, and has the unfortunate side effect of being potentially cancer inducing.
That is the health argument. Let's now pass to the taste argument.

Have you all seen the new Coke zero ad?
The guy skydiving with no parachute? Well, he's saying he doesn't need a parachute, because he's dreaming.
The dream? Coke zero tastes exactly like the original.
Hmmm. I got news for you dreamer says Frank. If it tasted the same, CocaCola wouldn't bother make original coke anymore would they?
It all comes down to this... The taste of the real thing.
What we eat here in the big cities, is just a pale preview of what the real taste would be if the food had been consumed within the day, or before getting wrapped in plastic. The real country side authentic food. Believe me, whatever you eat is supposed to be tastier than that.
Knowing that, let me continue.

In what's left of the taste you can get here, one should at least endeavour to get the bettrer possible thing.
By avoiding anything that says 'light' or 'diet 'on the label.
If you don't want to eat sugar, or fat, don't look for replacements. Assume it. And don't look for alternatives.
The alternatives are either just the same, or are worst for your health.
Trust your body. If it tastes like nothing good and that it's smells bad on top, don't eat it.
It's a millenium instinct that got the humans so far. If it tastes bad, don't eat it further.
Look at me, for instance. I might not look when I buy stuff (and if anyone should it's me.) but when I do look, I go for the O.G.
Original. The first true product, before the immitations started pouring down. Genuine and pristine.
What is immitated, is always good. That's the reason why it's immitated.
If you're a soft drink fan, you should know that Coke is the real, and Pepsi the immitation.
All diet versions are false.
Butter is the real shit. Margarine is not. For your information, the margarine was invented when explorers long gone at sea needed a replacement that would remain fresh longer. Halas, margarine didn't quite taste like butter.
Now, we have fridges, and no longer need margarine.
They might want to fool you by putting a nice yellow colour on margarine to remind you of butter.
Why? Because even they know. And, the government seeing the rip-off, forbid it a couple years past.

Miracle whip! Some guys came up with a recipe that tasted like Mayonaise they believed.
So they went at the Mayonaise academy to patent their product as Mayo.
The Mayo Marshall of the academy, after tasting the immitation had his cheeks flinch.
Coughing as he grasped his throat, he said...'' This is not Mayonaise, call it something else, and leave my castle immediately!''
So they did, but with a spiteful glare at castel Mayo.
The Miracle whip brothers kept their recipe nonetheless. That's how much they were ruthless.
Months later, they bought a factory, and massively produced their mayo immitation.
(Why do I even call it mayo immitation, it's nothing like mayo.)
They were also careful to immmitae the mayo label and colours, because they knew most of their sales would come from customers mistaking it for Mayo.
Miracle whip is a salad dressing, no more. Don't put it on sandwiches, or fries even if the ads suggest it.
They also made it cheaper, so the restaurants would have it instead of Mayo, pretending there is no difference.
So when I ask for Mayo in a restaurant, and they serve me Miracle whip instead, mistaking me for a fool, I go nuts, and scream for Mayo.
In the end, Hellman's was forced to add 'Real Mayonaise' on their label.

If you want to spread chocolate on your toasts, go for Nutella. Major Gourmet, is also a copy.

These are but a few of the examples I can provide.
Let it be said ,that I'm not trying to educate anyone here. You're all too old for that.
I just wanted to tell you the stories behind the products, to help you choose.
If you think I'm wrong, you probably put some margarine on your bread, just before you spread Miracle whip on it and reach for a cold Diet Pepsi in the fridge.
It's cool, it,s your choice.

17 Comments:

Anonymous Zak Mirando said...

Personnellement je trouve que ce ‘’Miracle whip’’ à un goût de chiotte et cela se voit que ce
n’est pas de la vraie mayonnaise.

Et si je peux vous donner un conseil d’Européen méditerranéen mes chers amis Nord Américains.

Laisser tomber le beurre et la margarine ce n’est pas bon pour le cœur, cuisiner avec de l’huile d’olive ! (Extra vierge c'est la meilleure)

5:55 PM  
Blogger Genotzarr said...

Tu fais un gateau avec quoi? De l'huile d'olive?
Et, n'essaye meme pas de demander a un Nord Americain de faire un 'grilled cheese' avec de l'huile d'olive.
'Du pain vert?' te diront-ils? Mais, Zak a la meilleure idée.
L'huile d'olive pour cuisiner, c'est en fait ce qu'il y a de mieux pour la plupart des trucs.
Mais le beurre a encore sa place.
Et oui, t'as raison, le mieux pour la santé est aussi ce qau'il y a de mieux pour le coeur.
Mais, il n'y a pas de substitut pour l'huile d'olive qui dit en etre sans en etre vraiment.
C'est pour ca que j'en ai pas parlé.

6:06 PM  
Anonymous lyphordt said...

It's funny that you write about this today because I was just telling Lorne at lunch today about aspartame and how it managed to get approved by the FDA.

1) The FDA was never going to approve aspartame.
2) A subsidiary company of Monsanto decided to hire Donald Rumsfeld in order to get aspartame approved.
3) With Ronald Reagan newly in office, Donald Rumsfeld then managed to appoint a new commisioner of the FDA, who then happily put the product on store shelves despite numerous research trials showing that there is a huge danger.

You can't have Monsanto, Donald Rumsfeld, and Ronald Reagan all in the same sentence without something very very very bad happening...

You can read more about it here:
The Aspartame Timeline.

6:15 PM  
Anonymous Zak Mirando said...

Il est certains bien sur que je ne ferais pas un gâteau avec de l'huile d'olive.
Mais par contre oui je ferais un grilled cheese avec de l'huile d'olive.
Tu prends une cuillère à thé que tu étends sur la tranche de pain et cela donne un excellent goût.(Je l'ai déjà fait et j'encourage tous les Nord Américains à faire de même.

En méditéranée l'huile d'olive est souvent consomée avec du pain et pas seulement dans la préparation de plats cuisinés.

6:39 PM  
Anonymous fred said...

wtf...im the one who said that comment about the coke zero add......argghhh

8:39 PM  
Blogger Genotzarr said...

Was it you?
I thought it was Frank. Cause he was at my place that week-end.
Sorry Al, and much props for the so true comment.
Didn't mean to give someone else your credit.
Which I recognize.

8:46 PM  
Blogger sofy said...

DA REAL SHIT !
I Luv originals.
If some1 serves me margarine, I'll use it of course, but at home you bet it's butter!
YO!Des croissants a la margarine? ou a l'huile d'olives? NO THX.
Butter ownz.

Il y a quelques semaines j'avais soif, je prit un Diet 7up.
cest... MAUVAIS. J'en donnerais pas a mon pire ennemi.

L'huile d'olive xtra vierge pour la bouffe quand je peut l'utiliser je le fais...

But nothing can ever replace da real stuff!

<3 !

4:34 AM  
Anonymous Zak Mirando said...

Mais qui parle de manger des croissants avec de l'huile d'olive ?

Quand j'en parle avec aux gens autour de moi certains croient dur comme fer que je mange mes croissant en les trempant dans un gros bol d'huile d'olive.

NON STOP, L'huile d'olive comme je le disais dans mon post précédent accompagne le pain pour les repas.
Ou bien même sur des sandwichs.

Donc arrêtons les fausses croyances et pour votre information sachez que l’huile d’olive doit être utilisée à ‘’toute’’ petite quantité.

6:40 AM  
Blogger sofy said...

Je préfere l'huile a bronzer.

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Docteur Mirando said...

Dans un souci de santé les deux types d’huiles sont recommandés.

1:42 PM  
Blogger Amande said...

Intéressant ce post :) J'ai lu il n'y a pas très longtemps que le Québec était le seul territoire d'Amérique du Nord où les ventes de Pepsi dépassaient celles de Coca-Cola. C'est vrai?

Moi je n'aime pas tout ce qui est "light", je trouve que ça donne un goût de fer à la boisson, berk, berk :( Et puis entre nous je ne bois pas bcp de sodas, je suis plus eau, bière et vin :)

Et concernant l'huile d'olive, je suis comme zak mirando à essayer de l'utiliser le plus possible, ça donne un petit goût super sympa. Mais bon a éviter dans les gateaux certes ;-)

2:54 AM  
Blogger Genotzarr said...

Ouais, c'est vrai.
Ce n'est pourtant pas trop étonnant, puisque nous sommes aussi reconnus pour notre gastronomie douteuse.
C'est quand meme pas pire que les allemands, mais tout ce qui est traditionnel au Quebec (coté bouffe), sort tout droit d'un menu bucheron express servi au siecle dernier.
Les bucherons buvaient du pepsi au siecle dernier?
Non, t'as rien compris.

10:14 PM  
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1:12 PM  

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